Just like plants, we have to take time to nurture ourselves and honor the stages of our lives.
In this Instagram live recap, we discussed the first stage: planting the seeds.
Question to ponder: During the seed stage, there is no significant growth, how do you stay inspired in spite of being stagnant?
Dee: We can get started. We're going to introduce ourselves. Hi guys. My name is Dee aka Plant Mom Dee. I am the founder of Melanin Planted. Thanks for joining!
Misha: Hi everyone. I'm Misha aka piecesofmeesh, and I am a mindful enthusiast, self healer, and I love to talk and tell my personal business online.
Dee: Alright, so what is this about and why are we collaborating? So, as Misha said she's a mindfulness enthusiast, a mindfulness instructor. When I started MelaninPlanted last year, I initially wanted to find a way to incorporate mental health. I do have a mental health background, so I wanted to find a way to incorporate mental health, healing, spirituality, mindfulness,selfcare, all of the things. I didn't want MelaninPlanted to just be like a typical plant shop. It's not just about buying a plant. I want it to be a full experience, healing and Misha is on point with the mindfulness, self care, meditation, all of that. And we're friends. So I'm like, let's go ahead and let's collab, let's start a project and get this going.
Misha: Yeah. So essentially what you can expect from us in this five part series is to engage in meaningful conversations that will encourage you to reflect on your own life cycle. Identify which plant stage you're in, because we're using plant stages, but we're talking about humans. So we want to be able to assist people with identifying what stage they're in, in their plant cycle for their life, and be able to affirm your experiences in each plant stage. So that's what you can expect from us moving forward. And Deronda So I guess what is the seed stage? We're talking about how to stay inspired through it. So what is the seed stage?
Dee: Yeah, good question. So the seed stage. Well, when you're thinking about a plant, the seed stage is the beginning. Most plants start their lives as a seed. Most of them. They're buried into the soil and they need nutrients in the soil. They need water. They need sunlight to develop and thrive, to be a healthy young plant and to move forward and to be an adult plant. With humans, though, we start off, of course, in our mother's stomachs, and then we develop and become babies, children, teens. Then we move forward into adulthood. So we're going to coordinate this and compare it with plants and humans because it's a continuous life cycle. It doesn't end.
With plants it starts off as a seed, and they move forward and become adults. But then the adult plant they sprout flowers, and those flowers actually have seed in them. So then it continues. And with humans also, when you have kids, your generation continues and goes on and goes on. So that's a great comparison.
Dee: We're going to talk about real life examples and the seeds that we're currently planting, whether it's in our careers, personal lives just to be able to relate it. And so you all can relate it and think like, well, how am I planting seeds? What am I doing on a day-to-day basis to move forward, to grow and nourish myself and to be a healthy adult?
Misha: Yeah, so currently I would say, when I think about seed stages or my seed stage, it can be so many different things. You can have, like you mentioned, there can be a seed stage in your career. You can have a seed stage in your personal relationship, seed stage in starting a family. But I would say right now, what I'm currently throwing seeds in is into my career. I have done the nine to five. I still do the nine to five and have a nine to five. But I'm really at a place in my life where I need my career to align with my life purpose. And I feel like right now I'm planting those seeds to really follow my life purpose and not just have a job, just to have one, but have one that is creating a meaningful experience for me to where I really feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. So that's my current seed stage. So what about yours?
Dee: My current seed stage? So I'm a full-time entrepreneur. I'm working on moving forward to actually being not only just an entrepreneur, but having many successful businesses. So I'm currently planting seeds, networking with others who are in the same niche as me, and moving forward with Melanin Planted to make sure Melanin Planted is good also. I left the nine to five life last year, end of April because like you said, you need to be aligned. I did not feel like I was aligned with that path. I felt like I was planting seeds every day in the wrong soil. I felt off balanced and just unaligned overall. So I'm like, well, what can I do? Because this is not it. The 9-5 life is not it at all. That's what I'm working on right now, just moving forward, being an entrepreneur and figuring out what I can do that's aligned with me physically, mentally, spiritually, and everything where I don't feel like, I'm going against my own values.
Misha: Yeah. Yeah. So how do you know what seeds to plant then?
Dee: That's a good question. So what I do, what I've been really focusing on is aligning myself spiritually. So meditation, I pray sometimes. I just need to make sure that I'm on the right path. I listen to God. I also believe God is within, which might sound a little outlandish, but I have dreams too. There's always a gut feeling for me. Like, if something's right or wrong, I have to go with my gut. And when I'm forcing something, I get sick and it may not be physically sick, sometimes it is, but I'll get headaches or I'll just feel very anxious, like, I'm rushing something, like, why am I rushing? What am I worried about? Praying and staying active. I notice when I don't exercise, or if I don't move at all, my body hurts more than actually working out, you know what I mean?
Misha: I feel you.
Dee: It's like, it's not old age. It's not old age, it's just I haven't moved in days. Like, we need to stay active y'all. Like stop just sitting on the couch, stop laying in the bed, it's not good.
Misha: I guess for me, because we're talking about how you know what seeds to plant. So for me, I would say mindfulness has been the biggest, my biggest help in trying to understand what seeds I should be planning in my life. So for me it's mindfulness and trusting my intuition and what meditation has really helped me develop a connection with my body. So, you know how you talked about when you feel things in your gut or you get sick, that awareness that I've developed with my body through mindfulness and yoga is really what I listen to when I know what seeds to plan. And not only that, but when it's the right thing for me, there's no resistance. So I don't like to be that person and be like, oh, it happens so easily. But when I know that I'm planting a seed in the right soil or the right garden, it happens so easy for me. And that's the confirmation that I have to know, okay, this is what I should do, this is what I should pursue. And on top of that, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, talking to my ancestors, I know a lot of people did not agree with that, but I'm like, I do.
Dee: And that's all that matters.
Misha: Right, exactly. It's my life, one life. And that's really something that brings me so much peace, is talking to my ancestors and getting guidance from them. Like you said, you have dreams. Getting that guidance from them. Questions that I ask, having dreams about them, having conversations with them in my dreams. And that's really what helps me plant my seeds in the right soil, know what seeds to plant. So I guess going from that then, what happens when you plant seeds in the wrong soil and expect for them to grow?
Dee: Yeah, I kind of touched on that, like feeling safe. So I always knew I did not want to work in corporate America. It didn't matter what job, I was working. At the beginning of the job, I would be like, oh, this is great. Like, I'm sipping the Kool-Aid. Like, yeah, this is right, every job. And then it would wear off after a month or two or three. And I'm like, I really don't want to do this. It's not that it's hard. None of the jobs were ever difficult. It was just, why am I doing this? Why am I planting my seed in someone else's soil? I'm giving my time and my energy into someone else's dream ultimately, which didn't sit right with me. I've worked several jobs where it was about sales or recruiting. I could see numbers and how much I was bringing in for the company. But again, it's like I'm planting these seeds. I'm giving my time and my energy that I will never get back for someone else. It just didn't align. It still doesn't align. I don't want to say I'll never go back to that life, but I won't, I can't.
It's not going to work. Sorry guys, but also when those seeds were planted in the "wrong soil" I did learn a lot. I met a lot of people. I made relationships and connections with people, really good friends. I learned some what is it called? Not responsibilities.
Misha: Skills. You learned new skills?
Dee: Learned a lot of skills. So it's like, okay, the seeds are planted in the wrong soil. But I learned from that. Had I not planted those seeds in that soil, would I have learned? What would I have learned? If I didn't go to school, if I didn't go to college or work any of those jobs, where would I be? So it was like a learning experience. Like, okay, I know I don't want to do that, I've tried that. Now I'm going to do this because this is what I'm aligned with. This is what I feel like I'm meant to do.
Misha: How's the chat looking?
Dee: Chat's looking real good. That part. Mindfulness. Self-awareness contribute to mindfulness. Yeah. Absolutely. You know what, like, since I've left corporate America, I've become way more self-aware. Actually thinking about like, stuff that's like so deep.
Misha: Because you have the time now. You have the time.
Dee: My mind is like, not look, well, I do look at a computer a lot, but like, not focused on, again, someone else's dream or someone else company or whatever. I'm focused on myself.
Misha: And I'm glad you brought up the point where you were talking about, like you said, that you wouldn't have met those people or you wouldn't have had those experiences. Because oftentimes when we're in those situations where we know it isn't for us, it's so hard to find the positives or what you're learning or what you can gain from that experience. Because even if it's not the ideal experience, there's still something to be learned from that, most importantly. And it's something like, you can learn that you will never make those decisions or I guess mistakes again. Or put yourself in that situation where you feel like you aren't fulfilling your own desires. You're working for someone else. So I'm glad you brought that point up.
Dee: Yeah. And honestly, like all those jobs were just to make money. Like I was working to make money to pay bills. Like it wasn't. Yeah, at the beginning it was like, yeah, this is a great job. Like, I want to do this. I want tohelp whatever the focus of the community or the company was, but I was really there just for a paycheck.
Misha: It was like that.
Dee: For healthcare. Like what? Yeah. It's super deep. They're saying you have clarity. Space for yourself. Yeah. Absolutely. Like more space, more time, more energy.
Dee: Okay. Alright. So I have a question for you. What do you do when you realize the environment or the soil is harmful to what you've planted?
Misha: I would say for me, for that experience, I have an experience like, for that. So I talked about my career being the seed stage I'm in. And I've found that my career, like what I do in life is a big aspect of my life. That's where I found a lot of meaning in life. So when I finished grad school, I went back to school for student affairs and higher education. And I remember being the last person in my cohort, one of the last people in my cohort to find a full-time job. And for that reason, when I got a job offer, I took the first one that I got because I'm like, I need a job. I'm out of grad school. I don't want to move back home with my mom. I need a job so I can move. So I took the first opportunity that was presented to me and it was low paying. And I was the only black woman. I find myself all the time being the only black woman in a lot of spaces, especially professional. But I was the only black woman in that department.
And when I first got there, it was fine. But as time went on, I realized that in meetings or just in general, my voice and my opinion weren't valued. And after about like eight months, I was like, you know what? I can't do this anymore because I was getting sick. I was crying almost every day, you know, calling my mom, telling her I want to come home. I wasn't happy and I made a decision. That's when I realized, okay, Misha, you're not growing here. Like, I wasn't growing at all, eight months into a role. I haven't learned anything new. I didn't have any new confidence. Like nothing was changing. It just felt like a drag to go to work every day. And after I was there for eight months, and I sent my boss an email and I said spring break was right around the corner. And I was like I won't be returning after spring break.
And the day we sent the students home, because I worked in residence life, the day we closed the dorms, I packed my Chevy cruise up and I drove from Florida to Virginia because I stayed with Bianca, shout out to Bianca. I stayed with her for a couple of days. And then I drove from Virginia to Pennsylvania. Yeah. 2018 I moved back into my mom's house. And what I will say though, because we're talking about staying inspired while being stagnant. And I will say that when I left that job and moved home, I felt like I was very stagnant, but I knew that I couldn't give up. I was 27 years old, living back home with my mom, no job. But I knew that I have to plant a new seed somewhere. I didn't know where, but I knew I had to because I could not stay in one place.
So that was how I identified planting seed in the wrong soil. And sometimes you have to uproot. You may plant to seed and you may not see any growth. And sometimes you have to just say, you know what, I have to get rid of this plant, or I have to uproot it because there's not going to be any growth here. And that is what happened in that role. And that's when I made the decision to no longer plant seeds in bad soil and move forward and do what I needed to do at that time. But like, what about you?
Dee: What was a question? How do we say inspired despite feeling stagnant? How do I say inspired? Let's see. For me, I think it goes back to my like spirituality. Because like I was saying, God is within. So I know, with my gut feeling with God within me, that is my inspiration. I'm going to move forward, I'm going to stay aligned. I'm going to do what feels right with me because I have to, you know what I mean? I won't be able to live. I would just be existing like literally existing, just floating in the breeze. Not what I want to do. I want to be here to live a good life to repeat, like you were saying earlier story, to be remembered as someone who lived a good life who gave back to the community, who did what she truly believed in
Misha: Your legacy.
Dee: Exactly. And not just did things for a paycheck or for other people. It's all about trusting the process for me at the end of the day. Not rushing anything. Because we talk about manifestation all the time, like manifesting, manifesting, manifesting. And then we think like, okay, where are the results? I've been manifesting for years.
Misha: Where's the millions?
Dee: I planted these seeds years ago, like what, where is it? Trust in the process, staying in the present moment, because at the end of the day, you only have right now. There's no past, there's no future. Every day. Like tomorrow when you wake up, you're going to have tomorrow. You know what I mean? You can't go back. The future, where is the future? It's not even like, you know what I mean? What is that like?
Misha: Right. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist yet.
Dee: It's literally only the present moment. Like, what are you doing right now? I'm just saying being secure within myself, that I'm on the right path, trusting the process. Staying mindful with the present moment. Doing my breathing exercises because I hold my breath and that's why [28:12 inaudible] so breathe. Like, just taking a breath. And it might sound simple, but I hold and I notice it, like I'm more self-aware, like, why am I, just. It'll be okay. It has to be.
Misha: And it will be.
Dee: It will, it always will. I have no doubts about it. Let me see what the comments are looking like. The only guarantee is the present. Yeah. That part. I like this engagement. Y'all are on it. Okay.
Misha: Engaged. I don't know. I guess for me, staying inspired despite feeling stagnant, I would say for me it's about nurturing myself. Like we talked about the present moment and it's really about nurturing myself in the present moment because like you said, there's the future. You only have the present right now. So what can I do right now to make sure that I'm taking care of myself, I'm working on myself so that I know, like if I'm planting a seed, I need to be in the right place for that seed to grow, for it to manifest. So if I'm not nurturing myself in the present moment and my plan is blossoming and I'm not ready for it, then it was useless, because I'm still operating off my state of mind before, or I'm still operating from a place of lack. I'm still operating from a place of not having confidence.
So I think it's so important while I'm feeling stagnant, because I share, with my career, I am feeling a little stagnant, but I'm nurturing myself in the present moment. I'm preparing myself for what it is to come because I know it's coming. So that inspiration or that flicker of hope is what keeps me inspired because I know it's coming. So I stay inspired so I can be ready for when it does get here.
Dee: I think it's already here.
Misha: It is here you're right. It just has the materialized.
Dee: It's literally right there.
Misha: It is, it is. Are people saying how they stay inspired in the chat?
Dee: Somebody said, that's one of my big problems, holding my breath. We just hold breathe, we need to just breathe.
Misha: Yeah. Holding breaths.
Dee: It's crazy. The only guarantee is the present.
Misha: Yeah. Yoga with Adrian has some good, like free yoga on YouTube if you ever just need a quick little stretch. I did a 10 minute, like, neck and shoulders this morning because I'm a shoulder holder to shoulder holder. Yeah, I do it too.
Dee: Every black woman inspires me from television to entrepreneurs. Absolutely. Because it's like, you can you see that, like you see someone that looks like you, I kind of hate that term, but looks like you and know that it's possible. Mia said, Look at my two little seeds being mindful, knowing, learning what environment they blossom in. I'm proud of y'all. Thank you.
Misha: Thanks bud.
Misha: We're so happy you all joined us and engaged. This is let me and Dee talk about off camera. So we just wanted to do it on camera.
Dee: The public plant diaries.
Misha: So I guess since we're done with questions to wrap us up.
Dee: We have one question, how do you maintain self control?
Misha: Oh, for me, I'm still struggling with self control to be honest. This has nothing to do with plants, but like for me, I'm lacking self control when it comes to eating. I'll be very honest. Like my eating habits, and this is from childhood to adulthood, just junk food. And in my house growing up, like a bag of chips was the snack. And I mean, a big bag of chips was the snack. Like you didn't pour some chips out and eat them off and not ate the whole bag of chips. So as an adult trying to change my eating habits because I know the certain foods I eat, they don't make me feel good in my body. And I talked about having that connection with my body and I know when I eat certain things that my body reacts a certain way. But it's like, well Misha, if you know this, why are you still doing it? And it's that self control that is just a struggle. So for me, that's honestly still something I'm working on. Mindfulness and meditation has helped. And honestly just not buying things that I know will take me off the path of better habits for my body.
Dee: What do I lack control with? I'm not really a snacker. I'm trying to think.
Misha: You're a Libra, so you're pretty balanced.
Dee: Yeah, I would say so.
Misha: I'm a Capricorn, so I have all those things.
Dee: Yeah. I mean, I'm not supposed to be eating dairy, but I had Parmesan today, Parm cheese. I feel like well, yeah, being a Libra, you're always trying to balance things out.
Misha: That is a good question though. I think self-control is something that a lot of us struggle with. Like it's human to really lack self control in certain aspects, especially if it's something that you're so used to.
Dee: Yeah. It's like breaking the habit.
Misha: But I try, I think I'm at a stage too where I try not to control anymore. I'm just like more intuitive about things. So not saying like, I can't do this anymore, but how can I limit how much I do it or limit how much I take in or still have it but not cut it completely out because I feel like that just makes room for like a binge or relapse or any of those things.
Dee: Yep. It's like after, I know like let's say if I go on a diet or some kind of cleanse right after I go back to eating what I was doing before. So it's like what was the point?
Misha: Yeah, that's real.
Dee: I guess that's a little bit of lack of self control. But then like I said, I'm not supposed to be eating dairy, so like the moderation of, I have a little bit of Parmesan cheese today on my spaghetti.
Misha: Right. It's not limiting yourself. At the end of the day, it's still one life. Do I want to be like, I wanted cheese today but I didn't have cheese. You know what I mean? It's just do what you want.
Dee: Yeah. Give yourself some grace.
Misha: Yep. That's exactly what, grace.
Dee: Like seriously. Even though you learned your body and fasting from unhealthy eating. Moderation. Having grace is important. Absolutely.
Misha: Yeah. Grace is the biggest thing. And I think we don't give ourselves enough grace as just humans in general. We're our biggest critics, so grace is definitely important.
Dee: Absolutely. Super critical, super analytical. Like judging ourselves before anyone else judges us.
Misha: And that can just relate back to the seed stage. Does the plant look at itself and be like, oh, I hate myself. I don't think so. I mean, I don't know, I don't speak plant, but plants are so beautiful and to see the beauty in plants every day, they have to know that they're loved and cared for. So we should know as humans that we're loved and cared for because there are people out there who see the beauty in us every day. So we just need to see the beauty in ourselves.
Dee: I like that. If only we could be plants.
Misha: I know. I mean, we are, we just look different.
Dee: I agree. Anymore questions, guys, comments? This is beautiful.
Misha: So to wrap this up just wanted to share some affirmations for you to take with you that can relate to the seed stage. So I'm going to invite you, if you would like to just take a couple deep breaths with me. We're going to take three deep breaths and then I'm going to share three affirmations. So if you're sitting down in the chair, put your feet flat on the ground, back straight up. If you're sitting in a chair, just have a good posture. One that shows like you're awake and you can lay down if you want, but we're just going to go ahead and take three deep breaths together. So starting now. So [taking deep breaths].
Misha: Last one [taking breaths].
I am grounded in the present moment.
I honor the stages of my life.
I am planting seeds of greatness.
And then we'll repeat those again. And you can say them with me or you can say them quietly to yourself, but I am grounded in the present moment. I honor the stages of my life. I am planting seeds of greatness. So take those affirmations with you. You can recite them anytime to yourself in your head, while you're walking down the street at work. You know, just to breathe and bring you back to the present. So thank you.
Dee: That was good. Thank you guys.
Misha: Thank you for joining us. See y'all next time. GoodBye.